我愛你 ; 離開是我自以為的成全 //
as soon as we grow up, we get labelled.
stamped, dated, labelled.
birthdate. time. place. weight. height. worth.
an arbitrary name we have no choice in, yet it becomes
something so intricately woven into everything we do
for (usually) pretty much the rest of our lives
as we grow, we accumulate more and more labels
school. program. skills. talents.
derogatory terms. categorizing terms.
brands we wear, bands we love.
our personalities end up being boxed into these few labels
some others stamp on us. and some we stamp onto ourselves.
and that’s what we become.
enclosed and contained within our own selves,
taped and packed and labelled.
Energy can never be destroyed. Only transformed from one form to another.
That is what I was trying to get at in my post earlier, about not believing in endings.
aahh, stumbled upon one of my old poems from when i was about fifteen or something~ ^^
stop squinting and looking into the far distance
what you can’t see
you [don’t think] of
look at what you can see
what’s here with you now
look up at the sky
breathe in the wind
don’t search for meaning [beyond the horizon]
stay in the here.
look at the now.
to your feet.
look to the side.
m e y o u
[everything is here.]
yes. im not leaving (yet).
i’m here (for) now
in my head
think of what i didn’t do yet
of what i will be thinking of.
when i go.
yes. i will be –
no. “will be” is not “now”.
i am staying.
“n o w.”
i am staying beside you.
you are here
everything is here.
she reads a lot.
but novels, not so much.
she likes poetry because poems are often not about
tim or tom or daisy or doll
they are about you.
it’s like reading a song where you get to pick the tune.
and in these books, she found pieces of herself.
which was something so dear to her.
because so much of her was lost.
when she was young
she wore her heart on her sleeve
and gave out pieces of it to others
but they broke those pieces and left her
and now she had these holes in places she couldn’t reach
and if only band-aids could fix a broken heart