please don’t leave me. i’m so scared.

silly child. i’ll still be here. we’re all always going to be here.

what do you mean?

answer me this. what do you think we’re made of?

…i don’t know… skin and bones?

haha. that’s just our temporary container. something to hold what we all really are.

and what is that?



that’s what we are all made of. energy. and do you know something about energy?

i know nothing about anything.

energy can never be destroyed.

then… where do we go when we’re… gone?

well. energy never disappears. it only transforms.


yes. changes form. sometimes, we’re skin and bones. sometimes, we’re balls of air. sometimes, we’re a spring breeze. but we’re still together. all of us. in this one, giant universe. that’s constantly transforming.

but… how can i see you again? how can i talk to you again?

you don’t have to worry about little things like that. the world is so much bigger than all of these little things. what matters is that we are not gone. we are never gone. we’ve simply changed. but we’re all, always together. every little thing that you see. we’re all part of one big, everlasting, ever-transforming, infinity.

including you?

including me. including you. us. we are infinity.


there’s this boy,

there’s this boy; his name means ambitious and auspicious and someone who soars.

he is beautiful, and hard working, and he definitely does soar.
but the biggest thing about him is that
his heart is filled with so much love,
his capacity for it amazes me.

so of course, this boy meets a girl, and many things happen
and all the things that happen, if you really get a chance to see them,
leave you with the feeling like
ah. so this is what they meant by “love”.

(and oh, so this can happen outside of a movie script?)


so what i want to do is…
– i want to write their story.

but i don’t know how to write something based on true events
without saying too much, or fabricating too much.

it seems like it’ll be a story with all feelings, no plot.
all telling, no showing.

is that okay?

can i write something like that?

just a pure, simple story
of my observations of other people’s stories?

is that something i can write?

believe in people.

It’s easy to doubt. Anyone can do it.

The hard part is believing.

So, be someone who can believe in people.

Maybe that will be your strength.

The strength to believe.



– (roughly) from Fruits Basket by Natsuki Takaya

trying to decide which path to take

just making some life decisions;;

spent the last week or so endlessly fussing over my grad school applications, trying to figure out what it is i really want to study.

i mean, i’ve always liked design, but. i also really love teaching.
and there’s just SO many paths you can take, so many different choices to choose from. sometimes, i get confused. and you always hear these stories about people who had this whole plan set for their life, and they ended up doing something completely different somehow, but now it’s the best thing that ever happened to them.

and so these decisions can sometimes get so confusing, so daunting. because, if we have practically no idea where any of these paths will lead, how am i supposed to decide which one to take? out of an endless number of possible paths…

it can be scary not really knowing where life is taking me, and how much each decision i make now affects what doors i’m opening up for myself in the future.

but then,
sometimes. this same concept can seem oh so exciting! like when i was walking outside the other day and was looking around at all the autumn-y colours and bunnies and squirrels jumping around, and had the wind in my hair, i was like:

wow! life is just one big adventure, isn’t it?

it’s SO unpredictable, and any number of things could happen. you never know all the good things that you could possibly run into, all the new doors you open up with simple decisions 😀 when you think about things that way, decision-making seems like such fun; i am so thankful for the opportunities i have been given the chance to pick from, all the paths that i have available for me to follow. and each path is such a mystery, with twists and turns and hidden wonders.

and you know:
“If you don’t know where you’re going, any road’ll take you there” 😉

the value of spending time with loved ones (w/ ref to ff7 :p)

just a quick lesson: to those people who are lucky enough to have love and family in your life, to have the opportunity to spend time with them, talk to them, laugh with them every day, recognize what a gift that is. even though you may not have the chance to travel or explore the world or have otherworldly adventures, even if your days are mostly spent at home, don’t ever refer to the blessing that is a home and family as “a place where you are stuck”.

stuck in a loving home, together with your family, in a nice house, with good money?

looking at all of the main cast of ff7 — i was thinking about how those people would give up so much just to be able to have what you have every day of your life.

and don’t say those are just stories, because sure, these might be fantasies with magic and such, but the amount of hardship and losses and fights they go through is something many real people have to face every day. and many face even worse.

remember that last day they had in ff7, right before they all went to fight the final boss, they took that as their possibly last night on earth, and they all chose to spend it with their family and loved ones. spend their possibly last night in a place with people who make them feel at home.

to them, that’s living their life to the fullest.
that’s their carpe diem.

and if you’re blessed enough to have that kind of life each day:
don’t ever refer to that as stuck.

how to expose yourself to randomness

read this article today:

loved it. 🙂

quoting some of the things listed there:

1. Go to the nearest magazine shop. Now. Spend 20 minutes. Pick up 20 — twenty! — magazines. None should be ones you normally read. Spend the better part of a day perusing them. Tear stuff out. Make notes. Create files. Goal: Stretch! Repeat … monthly … or at least bi-monthly.

3. Take off this Wednesday afternoon. Wander the closest mall … for two hours. Note the stuff you like. (And hate.) Products, merchandising, whatever. Repeat … bimonthly.

8. New habit: You’re in a meeting. Someone you don’t know makes an interesting contribution. Invite him/her to lunch … in the next two weeks.

9. You run across somebody interesting. As a matter of course, ask her (him) what’s the best thing she/he’s read in the last 90 days. Order it from … this afternoon.

10. Take tomorrow afternoon off. Rain or shine. Wander a corner of the city you’ve never explored before.

14. Go past a kiosk advertising local Community College courses for this fall. (Or one of the Learning Annex catalogues.) Grab a copy. Look it over this evening. Pick a couple of interesting courses and topics you’ve always wanted to know more about. Call the professor (with a little detective work, you can find her). If you’re intrigued, sign up and … at least … go to the orientation session.

17. You’re working with your 13-year-old on his science project. You find you’re having fun. Go to school with him tomorrow … and volunteer to talk to the class about the topic.

25. You love taking pictures. You pick up a brochure advertising a four-day photography workshop in Maine next summer. Go to the workshop.

28. I’m not much on planning. But how about sitting down with your spouse/significant other and making a list of three or four things you’ve “been meaning to do” that are novel … then coming up with a scheme for doing at least one of them in the next nine months?

and more…

laughing out loud

is one of the best feelings ever.
lucky to have people around me who i can laugh out loud with each day. 🙂 love all the family time during the summer holidays.

another lesson for today: try to find some humour in each day. never forget what it feels like to truly laugh out loud! 🙂

i’m happy.

and that’s all that really matters.

i am so grateful for everything i have, everything life has provided me with, everything i’ve gotten the chance to experience. each day is an adventure, and each moment i spend sitting and talking and laughing out loud with the people i love just makes my life that much more complete.

please, take the time to notice and appreciate all the good things life offers us each day. it’s always the small and simple things that really make life meaningful. or at least, i think so. 🙂 this is a good life.

what i learned from crisis core

embrace your dreams.

you know what’s really important?
getting closure.
spending as much time with your loved ones as you can, while you can.
and telling them everyday how much they mean to you. not just telling them, showing them.

if you’re in gongaga, go visit your parents!
if you’re in nibelheim, go have dinner with your mom!
if you’re leaving for a mission, tell your girl that you love her and hug her and kiss her like it’s the last time you get to see her (because it just might be and omg i’m crying this stupid game.)

i learned that
i love zack. i love zerith. and i hate this stinky game.

lessons from a power outage.

there was a power outage today. o:

people were thinking it might go until midnight and everything, but it actually lasted for just a few hours, aA! 😀

was pretty fun for the most part, dancing around in the rain, spending time with the family, chatting with the neighbourhood kids, and making bizarre plans with sisters and friends of visiting stores and acting like time travellers and whatnot;; my jolly mood did get disrupted a bit right before the power came back though D: (whenishowedmylittlesisteracutonmyfingerandhernaturalinstinct happenedtobetoPOKEmeRIGHTINTHECUTwithhersharpFINGERNAIL?!?! whyyy?idon’teven. plus, my psp ran out of my battery so i was upset i may not be able to continue playing crisis core tonight, and other such meaningless stuff. xP) but then i called my dad to tell him to come home quick and the power came back right as he was hanging up, so it all like, worked out and stuff, yay~

(andthenwewentoutsideandscreamedatthetopofourlungs thatthepowercamebackandsang”celebrateeeee~”andmaybe possiblymadeacaralarmgooffohmyjustjoking)

beautiful view: seeing all the houses in the neighbourhood’s lights go on one by one 😀 [ i didn’t get to see it D: but my sister did, and i can picture it; omg, electricity, and how much we depend on it O: >.