wings and leaves

leaves may leave but roots are hard to move from

where i am, where you are, i am a tree, i am a nest

and you built me up, i am built up from remnants of

you that you shared with me, little birdies, wings make it so easy

to leave, but i didn’t know even she would fly so far because

bigger nests and brighter skies are out there, somewhere, while

i am only the same old, loved, stems and branches, yes, you are still

loved, she told me, a home is a home even if my wings take me elsewhere,

i will still sing to you as i roam the skies, i will, but me, i shake and try

to raise my leaves as though they are wings and i can leave along with them, but

i cry knowing that i am glued to the ground where i grew around

you, onto you, when you called me home, and while

you stuck onto me like i am a house, i stuck onto you like you

are my heart, and hearts don’t have doors and windows.

so, when you joke around about me being too sticky like honey, but honey,

do you know i have been holding my breath since the first night

you fell asleep among my leaves,

counting down the days until you make like a tree

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the other side

it’s human nature, isn’t it, to focus on what we lack, rather than what we have?

that’s where the grass being green on the other side idea kind of comes from.

or those thoughts that start with “if only…”

if only i was there instead of here, things would be better.

if only i had this instead of that, i could be better.

why else would someone who has just published their first book, earned a growing fanbase, a steady career

feel like they haven’t accomplished enough in life?

why else would someone who has a caring family, several close friends, a loving relationship

feel like they’re alone and unwanted?

we call it a weakness, this tendency to focus on what is missing, rather than what is there.

“humanity’s fatal flaw” she called it.

but maybe it isn’t always so bad. maybe it’s not always a weakness. maybe it’s often our greatest strength.

because why do we focus on what we don’t have? to keep us moving forward, to keep us striving for that elusive place where things are better, we are better. we are scared of feeling completely at peace because maybe that would mean we are done. the story is done once we reach ‘happily ever after’.

and no one wants to be done.

so we keep looking for holes to fill – not just us as individuals, but us as the human race – so we can keep having something to do, something to head toward, or at least something to complain about, something to cry about, something to do something about other than close the book and say ‘the end. we have achieved a state of imperfect perfection. we are now done.’

infinity.

please don’t leave me. i’m so scared.

silly child. i’ll still be here. we’re all always going to be here.

what do you mean?

answer me this. what do you think we’re made of?

…i don’t know… skin and bones?

haha. that’s just our temporary container. something to hold what we all really are.

and what is that?

energy.

energy?

that’s what we are all made of. energy. and do you know something about energy?

i know nothing about anything.

energy can never be destroyed.

then… where do we go when we’re… gone?

well. energy never disappears. it only transforms.

transforms?

yes. changes form. sometimes, we’re skin and bones. sometimes, we’re balls of air. sometimes, we’re a spring breeze. but we’re still together. all of us. in this one, giant universe. that’s constantly transforming.

but… how can i see you again? how can i talk to you again?

you don’t have to worry about little things like that. the world is so much bigger than all of these little things. what matters is that we are not gone. we are never gone. we’ve simply changed. but we’re all, always together. every little thing that you see. we’re all part of one big, everlasting, ever-transforming, infinity.

including you?

including me. including you. us. we are infinity.

dear dandelion, you are

and i think one of the most beautiful things just might be
spring breezes in the summer
warm breezes in the winter
serendipitous surprises just because
just because you are who you are
and, love, this is all you ever needed to hear
orange lullabies and bedtime stories we still hold dear
and the sparrow chirps back when its babies call
the flowers dance even as the nights they fall 
because someone out there just maybe, really knows
how this story was meant to go, yet
that doesn’t stop us from hoping, holding, making wishes
turning just any other dandelion from weed to wings as
the spring breeze blows even as far north as we are.
and ice-cream and stickers that glow in the dark
and animal hats and cake and wandering stars 
still do sing, truly. so he takes her hand, truly.
and i think this just might be one of the most beautiful things
this life this love this everything in the everyday this
just because you are. you are.

there’s this boy,

there’s this boy; his name means ambitious and auspicious and someone who soars.

he is beautiful, and hard working, and he definitely does soar.
but the biggest thing about him is that
his heart is filled with so much love,
his capacity for it amazes me.

so of course, this boy meets a girl, and many things happen
and all the things that happen, if you really get a chance to see them,
leave you with the feeling like
ah. so this is what they meant by “love”.

(and oh, so this can happen outside of a movie script?)

.

so what i want to do is…
– i want to write their story.

but i don’t know how to write something based on true events
without saying too much, or fabricating too much.

it seems like it’ll be a story with all feelings, no plot.
all telling, no showing.

is that okay?

can i write something like that?

just a pure, simple story
of my observations of other people’s stories?

is that something i can write?

believe in people.

It’s easy to doubt. Anyone can do it.

The hard part is believing.

So, be someone who can believe in people.

Maybe that will be your strength.

The strength to believe.

 

 

– (roughly) from Fruits Basket by Natsuki Takaya

just a bit of summertime magic.

dear reader,

you know what looks really magical to me?

something that looks as though it is straight out of a fairytale?

these little white fuzzy things that look like dandelion fluff flying around in the air! when they’re all gathered, and just blissfully floating in the breeze. it looks so dreamlike ❤ i feel like they are tiny fairies, or lost wishes, or pieces of old memories, or other precious things you could capture and keep in jars (but that are much more beautiful when set free~) i feel like i should chase them or something. and they’ll lead me to a place. a place where wishes come true* haha.

googling them up led me to these:
http://www.fitsugar.com/All-Fluff-Your-Seasonal-Allergies-303967
http://www.mnn.com/local-reports/illinois/local-blog/airborne-fluff-the-cottonwood-tree
http://www.abundantnature.com/2012/06/fuzzy-white-flying-bugs.html

whatever they may be, aren’t they just magical? ❤

the image of them all floating in the air brings up pretty, magical pictures like these in my head, so:

              

okay, that’s all for now. :3

love,

– rain.

*oh, just a Clannad reference 😛

 

OH. sources for the images:
http://lilium.tumblr.com/
http://usernameisbeingused.tumblr.com/
http://hellyeskingdomhearts.tumblr.com/

carpe diem summer 2014.

just a list of things i’ve done to keep track of them 🙂 and for anyone who’s doing something similar this summer, maybe some of these will help you come up with ideas or inspiration or motivation or something lol. ^-^ (also my other blog too)

1. went to see a musical in my little sister’s school :3
2. went to a karaoke place and sang foreign songs we don’t understand or know the lyrics to xD :B
3. made a new friend~ (with a baby in our neighbourhood :B)
4. started organizing my huge, huge digital photo collection 😮
5. had board game nights with the sisters :B (played Clue and Game of Life)
6. bought a 1000-piece disney photomosaic puzzle! (haven’t started it yet though haha xD)
7. continuing to learn a new language~ (so fun when i can pick up on people’s conversations without them knowing i know what they’re saying HAHA :3 — not that i’m an eavesdropper or anything! :O)
8. went to the African Lion Safari! 😀 whoo~
9. tried to have a “yes” day (where you say ‘yes’ to everything you get asked! :O it can be an amazing way to discover unexpected new opportunities. :3 one thing leads to another and all~ [safety first though! haha xD])
10. joined a musical theatre class — got assigned a song for musical theatre 😮 trying to think up choreography ideas for it with my sister :3
11. danced to Just Dance at the shopping mall in front of an xbox display thing they had set up outside a windows store
12. tried out new organic frozen yogurt place! mixed almost all the toppings they had there together for quite an exciting flavour LOL ugly pictures coming soon 😛
13. bought a new board game to try (Quelf, anyone?)
14. bought a bunch of new accessories, necklaces and rings and stuff :3
15. visited the flea market and just walked around looking at all the stalls~

here is another list i came across the other day:
http://hellogiggles.com/single-girls-totally-doable-summer-bucket-list
some of these sound really fun! 😀 so, take a look for more ideas ^-^

here are a couple of my favourites:
10. pick a summer anthem (which we did during our first carpediemsummer back in 2012! 😀 haha, we picked the “carpe diem” song from phineas and ferb, naturally. and learned a choreographed dance to it. and we sang + danced it everywhere! be it playgrounds and parks, the garden section of wal-mart, busy streets of downtown, or just on our own in our living room. LOL! it was really silly. but awesome, as most really silly things are. :B)
15. learn the handshake from parent trap
16. celebrate an obscure holiday and go all-out (we were thinking we could also make up our own holiday! 😀 and go all-out. haha.)
26. make fake character personalities and use them at bars (though we don’t frequent bars, we could do this somewhere else where we meet people LOL i’ve always wanted to try this xD just to see what happens :P)
40. go somewhere for every letter of the alphabet (sounds really interesting! o: going to try this one for sure.)

catch-up post. about musical theatre class. :)

so, as mentioned before, in the spirit of carpe diem summer, i joined a musical theatre class with my sister a few weeks ago. :O

here’s what i was going to post after our first class a few weeks back:

“so we just attended our first musical theatre class the other day, and it was pretty fun! 😀

everyone was really nice, and i was surprised to discover that despite my lack of any acting/singing background, i was not the least experienced person there! ^-^ and also despite being younger than most of the other people in the class, we were treated pretty equally 😀 and we fit in pretty well, i think. :3 

 

so yeah, it was really fun. and i felt really comfortable there.

until they all started naming these famous musicals and talking about singing and things (something i have no experience in D: nor proper knowledge of) and then i felt a little silly because when they said “larger than life”, i thought of backstreet boys, when they said “seymour” i thought of final fantasy x, when they said “jekyll & hyde”, i thought of this:

 

and out all the (about five) musicals that i knew of, three of them i knew of because of glee! xD oh my goodness, i’m so un-deep. :P”

 

haha. but no, the class is actually really fun, and the people are all amazing, and i’m glad we made this spontaneous decision to join it. ^^ now. hopefully i won’t be completely embarassing during the performance at the end of the class! ^^” hehe…

 

BUT! speaking of the performance 😀 we got so lucky with the song they gave us~ judging from all the musicals they were naming the first class, we figured we’d get some famous song we aren’t really familiar with and have to learn it from scratch but we got like one of our favourite songs that we’ve been singing since we were kids! 😀 as a duet too! yay~ we even have the song listed as songs to practice for fun in our carpe diem summer’s to do list from earlier! 

 

how serendipitous~

 

 

fun day.

So the other day, we dropped off our sister to a birthday party, and they told us to pick her up again in 2 hours. Since it takes about a half hour to get back home, we didn’t feel like going home and then coming back again. So we decided to go on a spontaneous walk and ended up wandering around this Chinese Center, with little stores and stuff, and beautiful scenery.

more pictures here: thelittleadventureblog.wordpress.com

And then we went to a karaoke place, but they didn’t offer half hour sessions, only one hour, and we didn’t have enough time to stay there for an hour, so we just looked over their song selection, and decided to come back later.

Then we went to a cute bakery neighboring the karaoke place and ate yummy yummy creamy buns 😀 So good ❤

 

And then we went back to the birthday party to pick little sister up. And ate our first cake of the summer. Yummy chocolate-y goodness. :3 I couldn’t get a good picture of it, haha. It was dark inside. xD

 

Yay, fun day 😀