wings and leaves

leaves may leave but roots are hard to move from
where i am, where you are, i am a tree, i am a nest
and you built me up, i am built up from remnants of
you that you shared with me, little birdies, wings make it so easy
to leave, but i didn’t know even she would fly so far because
bigger nests and brighter skies are out there, somewhere, while
i am only the same old, loved, stems and branches, yes, you are still
loved, she told me, a home is a home even if my wings take me elsewhere,
i will still sing to you as i roam the skies, i will, but me, i shake and try
to raise my leaves as though they are wings and i can leave along with them, but
i cry knowing that i am glued to the ground where i grew around
you, onto you, when you called me home, and while
you stuck onto me like i am a house, i stuck onto you like you
are my heart, and hearts don’t have doors and windows.
so, when you joke around about me being too sticky, honey, but honey,
do you know i have been holding my breath since the first night
you fell asleep among my leaves,
counting down the days until you make like a tree

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the other side

it’s human nature, isn’t it, to focus on what we lack, rather than what we have?

that’s where the grass being green on the other side idea kind of comes from.

or those thoughts that start with “if only…”

if only i was there instead of here, things would be better.

if only i had this instead of that, i could be better.

why else would someone who has just published their first book, earned a growing fanbase, a steady career

feel like they haven’t accomplished enough in life?

why else would someone who has a caring family, several close friends, a loving relationship

feel like they’re alone and unwanted?

we call it a weakness, this tendency to focus on what is missing, rather than what is there.

“humanity’s fatal flaw” she called it.

but maybe it isn’t always so bad. maybe it’s not always a weakness. maybe it’s often our greatest strength.

because why do we focus on what we don’t have? to keep us moving forward, to keep us striving for that elusive place where things are better, we are better. we are scared of feeling completely at peace because maybe that would mean we are done. the story is done once we reach ‘happily ever after’.

and no one wants to be done.

so we keep looking for holes to fill – not just us as individuals, but us as the human race – so we can keep having something to do, something to head toward, or at least something to complain about, something to cry about, something to do something about other than close the book and say ‘the end. we have achieved a state of imperfect perfection. we are now done.’

infinity.

please don’t leave me. i’m so scared.

silly child. i’ll still be here. we’re all always going to be here.

what do you mean?

answer me this. what do you think we’re made of?

…i don’t know… skin and bones?

haha. that’s just our temporary container. something to hold what we all really are.

and what is that?

energy.

energy?

that’s what we are all made of. energy. and do you know something about energy?

i know nothing about anything.

energy can never be destroyed.

then… where do we go when we’re… gone?

well. energy never disappears. it only transforms.

transforms?

yes. changes form. sometimes, we’re skin and bones. sometimes, we’re balls of air. sometimes, we’re a spring breeze. but we’re still together. all of us. in this one, giant universe. that’s constantly transforming.

but… how can i see you again? how can i talk to you again?

you don’t have to worry about little things like that. the world is so much bigger than all of these little things. what matters is that we are not gone. we are never gone. we’ve simply changed. but we’re all, always together. every little thing that you see. we’re all part of one big, everlasting, ever-transforming, infinity.

including you?

including me. including you. us. we are infinity.

dear dandelion, you are

and i think one of the most beautiful things just might be
spring breezes in the summer
warm breezes in the winter
serendipitous surprises just because
just because you are who you are
and, love, this is all you ever needed to hear
orange lullabies and bedtime stories we still hold dear
and the sparrow chirps back when its babies call
the flowers dance even as the nights they fall 
because someone out there just maybe, really knows
how this story was meant to go, yet
that doesn’t stop us from hoping, holding, making wishes
turning just any other dandelion from weed to wings as
the spring breeze blows even as far north as we are.
and ice-cream and stickers that glow in the dark
and animal hats and cake and wandering stars 
still do sing, truly. so he takes her hand, truly.
and i think this just might be one of the most beautiful things
this life this love this everything in the everyday this
just because you are. you are.

there’s this boy,

there’s this boy; his name means ambitious and auspicious and someone who soars.

he is beautiful, and hard working, and he definitely does soar.
but the biggest thing about him is that
his heart is filled with so much love,
his capacity for it amazes me.

so of course, this boy meets a girl, and many things happen
and all the things that happen, if you really get a chance to see them,
leave you with the feeling like
ah. so this is what they meant by “love”.

(and oh, so this can happen outside of a movie script?)

.

so what i want to do is…
– i want to write their story.

but i don’t know how to write something based on true events
without saying too much, or fabricating too much.

it seems like it’ll be a story with all feelings, no plot.
all telling, no showing.

is that okay?

can i write something like that?

just a pure, simple story
of my observations of other people’s stories?

is that something i can write?

believe in people.

It’s easy to doubt. Anyone can do it.

The hard part is believing.

So, be someone who can believe in people.

Maybe that will be your strength.

The strength to believe.

 

 

– (roughly) from Fruits Basket by Natsuki Takaya

just a bit of summertime magic.

dear reader,

you know what looks really magical to me?

something that looks as though it is straight out of a fairytale?

these little white fuzzy things that look like dandelion fluff flying around in the air! when they’re all gathered, and just blissfully floating in the breeze. it looks so dreamlike ❤ i feel like they are tiny fairies, or lost wishes, or pieces of old memories, or other precious things you could capture and keep in jars (but that are much more beautiful when set free~) i feel like i should chase them or something. and they’ll lead me to a place. a place where wishes come true* haha.

googling them up led me to these:
http://www.fitsugar.com/All-Fluff-Your-Seasonal-Allergies-303967
http://www.mnn.com/local-reports/illinois/local-blog/airborne-fluff-the-cottonwood-tree
http://www.abundantnature.com/2012/06/fuzzy-white-flying-bugs.html

whatever they may be, aren’t they just magical? ❤

the image of them all floating in the air brings up pretty, magical pictures like these in my head, so:

ImageImageImage
Image       Image       Image

okay, that’s all for now. :3

love,

– rain.

*oh, just a Clannad reference 😛

 

OH. sources for the images:
http://lilium.tumblr.com/
http://usernameisbeingused.tumblr.com/
http://hellyeskingdomhearts.tumblr.com/