new book: through love, lies, and other things that exist

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A Collection of Poems and Words


i wanted to write lyrics with these flowers
and thorns and stars you’ve tattooed across my arms and my chest; but maybe these thoughts and feelings are too scattered for song. so maybe i’ll write these uncaged words instead.

i ran into something unbelievable last winter.
it came into our lives in the fall. and it grew and grew. and by winter, it was so huge, that the whole world had to morph and widen and brighten to fit it. this morphing, and widening, and brightening was a journey filled with light and dark, learning and growth, hope and doubt, dreams and rude awakenings, shock and wonder.
these poems and lyrics and words are a documentation of that journey.
a journey through love, lies, and other things that exist.


just another excerpt.

but then you stuck your chubby long leg out, and
you tripped me. did you even know
i was following you. i was following you, but you called me.
you called me here. every time i left, something about you flashed
before my eyes, and god, i couldn’t help but follow because i was tied
to your heart like i was your heartstrings

yay, back on track.

let’s go back, let’s go back, c’mon friend, let’s go back.
we are already at the highest altitude we can be at.
no point in jumping off the plane now because we are too scared of the crash.
it’s not like jumping off on our own would make a fall hurt any less.
we already gave up our parachutes!
mission back on track.

thanks for the help~

i’ve been –

i’ve been –
look how the colours are changing.
the world is so much bigger, so much brighter, so much more
than i ever imagined.

– born anew.
is what i felt like. feel like.

i’ve been –

here and there and here and here
and i’m waiting and believing
and believing with all my heart.

– putting all my eggs here.
in an invisible basket.

i’ve been –

trusting and hoping and praying
and believing and painting
and drawing and waiting.

– here.

i’ve been holding on with all my might
because this is my life now
and it’s so much more, so much brighter, so much bigger
than i ever imagined.

but it’s held together by strings and gems
and gems and strings
everything is connected, and –

i’ve been –

– string?

this is what i get for thinking.


can you save me?

i’ve been –

look how the colours are changing.
everything’s turning a little greyer.

– here before.

i don’t want to go back.
i didn’t realize how (who knew i was so) fragile. i’ve been holding on
so. tight.
but sometimes, i still, i still,
sometimes, i still, need a hand.

i’ve been here for so long.
can you help me?

believe in people.

It’s easy to doubt. Anyone can do it.

The hard part is believing.

So, be someone who can believe in people.

Maybe that will be your strength.

The strength to believe.



– (roughly) from Fruits Basket by Natsuki Takaya