not yet. just now.

aahh, stumbled upon one of my old poems from when i was about fifteen or something~ ^^


stop squinting and looking into the far distance
what you can’t see
    you [don’t think] of
look at what you can see
    what’s here with you now
look up at the sky
breathe in the wind
don’t search for meaning [beyond the horizon]
stay in the here.
        look at the now.
no back.
no beyond.
        look up.
                to your feet.
        look to the side.
                beside you.
        at me.
        at us.
        m e y o u
                allofeverything.
        [everything is here.]

yes. im not leaving (yet).
                                not “yet”
                                just “now”
i’m here (for) now
                                what “for”
                                just “now”
in my head
        [i]
think of what i didn’t do yet
                                not “yet”
                                think “now”
i think.
    of what i will be thinking of.
when i go.
                                “will be?”
yes.
                                no.
yes. i will be –
                                no. “will be” is not “now”.
        [am]
i am.
                                you are.
i am staying.
(for) –
                                what “for”.
                                “n o w.”
i am staying beside you.
                                you are here
                                in this
        [content]
                                moment.
                                now.
everything is here.
now.
                                [now].

carpe diem summer 2014.

just a list of things i’ve done to keep track of them 🙂 and for anyone who’s doing something similar this summer, maybe some of these will help you come up with ideas or inspiration or motivation or something lol. ^-^ (also my other blog too)

1. went to see a musical in my little sister’s school :3
2. went to a karaoke place and sang foreign songs we don’t understand or know the lyrics to xD :B
3. made a new friend~ (with a baby in our neighbourhood :B)
4. started organizing my huge, huge digital photo collection 😮
5. had board game nights with the sisters :B (played Clue and Game of Life)
6. bought a 1000-piece disney photomosaic puzzle! (haven’t started it yet though haha xD)
7. continuing to learn a new language~ (so fun when i can pick up on people’s conversations without them knowing i know what they’re saying HAHA :3 — not that i’m an eavesdropper or anything! :O)
8. went to the African Lion Safari! 😀 whoo~
9. tried to have a “yes” day (where you say ‘yes’ to everything you get asked! :O it can be an amazing way to discover unexpected new opportunities. :3 one thing leads to another and all~ [safety first though! haha xD])
10. joined a musical theatre class — got assigned a song for musical theatre 😮 trying to think up choreography ideas for it with my sister :3
11. danced to Just Dance at the shopping mall in front of an xbox display thing they had set up outside a windows store
12. tried out new organic frozen yogurt place! mixed almost all the toppings they had there together for quite an exciting flavour LOL ugly pictures coming soon 😛
13. bought a new board game to try (Quelf, anyone?)
14. bought a bunch of new accessories, necklaces and rings and stuff :3
15. visited the flea market and just walked around looking at all the stalls~

here is another list i came across the other day:
http://hellogiggles.com/single-girls-totally-doable-summer-bucket-list
some of these sound really fun! 😀 so, take a look for more ideas ^-^

here are a couple of my favourites:
10. pick a summer anthem (which we did during our first carpediemsummer back in 2012! 😀 haha, we picked the “carpe diem” song from phineas and ferb, naturally. and learned a choreographed dance to it. and we sang + danced it everywhere! be it playgrounds and parks, the garden section of wal-mart, busy streets of downtown, or just on our own in our living room. LOL! it was really silly. but awesome, as most really silly things are. :B)
15. learn the handshake from parent trap
16. celebrate an obscure holiday and go all-out (we were thinking we could also make up our own holiday! 😀 and go all-out. haha.)
26. make fake character personalities and use them at bars (though we don’t frequent bars, we could do this somewhere else where we meet people LOL i’ve always wanted to try this xD just to see what happens :P)
40. go somewhere for every letter of the alphabet (sounds really interesting! o: going to try this one for sure.)

catch-up post. about musical theatre class. :)

so, as mentioned before, in the spirit of carpe diem summer, i joined a musical theatre class with my sister a few weeks ago. :O

here’s what i was going to post after our first class a few weeks back:

“so we just attended our first musical theatre class the other day, and it was pretty fun! 😀

everyone was really nice, and i was surprised to discover that despite my lack of any acting/singing background, i was not the least experienced person there! ^-^ and also despite being younger than most of the other people in the class, we were treated pretty equally 😀 and we fit in pretty well, i think. :3 
 
so yeah, it was really fun. and i felt really comfortable there.
until they all started naming these famous musicals and talking about singing and things (something i have no experience in D: nor proper knowledge of) and then i felt a little silly because when they said “larger than life”, i thought of backstreet boys, when they said “seymour” i thought of final fantasy x, when they said “jekyll & hyde”, i thought of this:
 
Image
and out all the (about five) musicals that i knew of, three of them i knew of because of glee! xD oh my goodness, i’m so un-deep. :P”
 
haha. but no, the class is actually really fun, and the people are all amazing, and i’m glad we made this spontaneous decision to join it. ^^ now. hopefully i won’t be completely embarassing during the performance at the end of the class! ^^” hehe…
 
BUT! speaking of the performance 😀 we got so lucky with the song they gave us~ judging from all the musicals they were naming the first class, we figured we’d get some famous song we aren’t really familiar with and have to learn it from scratch but we got like one of our favourite songs that we’ve been singing since we were kids! 😀 as a duet too! yay~ we even have the song listed as songs to practice for fun in our carpe diem summer’s to do list from earlier! 
 
how serendipitous~
 


 

one of the problems i had last summer, and the one before, was…

[ the little adventure blog ] our mission: never stop finding new things to try

one of the problems i had last summer, and the one before, was keeping track of everything i did. i mean, at least for 2012, i had the journal and i used it regularly, but i lost track of all the pictures we took~ they just ended up scattered all over my laptop/desktop computers and only today (about two years late!) did i finally gather them all into one place, to select the photos i wanted to include on this post.
it’s funny because i always planned to keep a blog somewhere of everything we were doing during the summer of 2012. i think i started at least three different blogs (wordpress, blogger, tumblr), but they all ended up not getting updated on time. >.<” (an example being this little adventure blog (both on wordpress and tumblr), which was pretty much based on the same idea (keeping track…

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i joined a musical theatre class :<

so one of the things i’ve always loved was the idea of working on a huge project together with a lot of people, and then finally presenting it to an audience (like they do in those movies about performances and stuff xD).

i used to be one of the quieter kids back in elementary/middle school, so even if i was part of some of the school plays and performances, i always felt like i was kind of on the sidelines, or not really there.

and in high school, i didn’t join many clubs, nor take any drama classes, or anything, so.

i often felt like i kind of missed out on that feeling of a “performance”, haha.

 

so in the spirit of carpe diem summer,
my sister and I apparently decided to join a musical theatre class with a stage performance at the end i don’t know how this is going to go – the first class is today 😡 – and i’m a little nervous – i hope everyone there isn’t too much older than me – i have a knack for kind of embarrassing myself in situations, since i’m such a silly person LOL! – aaahhhh *fingers crossed* xD hope this goes welllll. wish me luck? :B

 

oh, by the way.
i have no experience in either singing or acting. oh my~

carpe diem summer~ (2012) :)

Image

 

one of the best times of my life, that really changed the way i do things, the way i think about things, was this one summer we (my sister and I) refer to as “carpe diem summer”. (the above picture is something my sister created as a representation of our summer by the way. for a school project. :))

i’ve mentioned it a few times before, either on this blog, or my little adventure blog (or the tumblr equivalents of each), but i feel like i never really got to do a whole recap of it the way i’ve been meaning to.
 
quoting from my earlier posts, how the carpe diem summer started was basically this:

You don’t have to build a roller-coaster
To find your own way, to make the most of 
Every minute. No more waiting for the right time, you’re in it.
So grab those opportunities when you see ‘em!
‘Cause everyday’s a brand new day! You gotta’ carpe diem!
– Phineas and Ferb

Inspired by an episode we watched near the beginning of last summer [a Phineas and Ferb episode with a song about seizing the day (or “Carpe diem!”)], we got this idea to make the most of our summer by trying something new each day! Grabbing opportunities, doing things we always wanted to do, and letting go of inhibitions + getting in touch with our inner child…ren? xD
 
so basically, our goal was to go out and try new things everyday.
 
we didn’t have the ability (nor desire) to go on huge adventures like travelling the world or anything, but that was actually kind of the point.
(i mean, phineas and ferb do almost everything from the comfort of their backyard! ok not really, but you know what i mean, haha.)
 
the point was to make the most out of everyday opportunities! to look around for things that i usually miss. to be myself, be weird, be crazy, have fun and make some scenes.
instead of just spending all of my summer in front of the computer, or cooped up at home. 🙂
 
so.
step one.
we made a list of “summer goals”. started out pretty short and simple.
 
then.
we got this journal:
Image
 
and our list of things to do started getting longer and longer.
it kept evolving, changing and growing, as summer went by, and by the end of it, we had something like this:
Image
 
we had to edit a few of our original goals as we see fit.

Image

(this is one of my favourites XD lol)
 
and most of all, we had a ton of fun:
ImageImage
 
🙂
 
anyway.
 
i learned a lot of things and all in all, this was one of the best times of my life. and i’m planning to do something like this again, for this summer! ^-^ my first summer out of undergrad (and before starting my master’s :O). but this time, we’re going to try to include our whole family, instead of just us two sisters, as much as we can. ^-^
 
and i would encourage everyone to try something similar! 😀
it doesn’t have to be when you’re on a break! you can just take on less time-consuming things, but there are so many many opportunities the world provides us with, there’s bound to be a ton that you could fit into your own schedule, however busy you may be (if you’re too busy to do even that, then maybe, start prioritizing things a little differently? ^-^ it’s always important to make the most of every moment we have here, so, please do. 🙂 there’s more to life than school and work and mindless media/internet consumption, and i hope we never lose sight of that.)
 
so here’s to wishing everyone all the best for the spring/summer 2014~ let’s go and keep going 😀
 
excited for all the new things we’ll discover this year. ^-^

#carpediemsummer

what carpe diem means to me.

one of my earlier posts, but it’s what i wanted to say right now. i always end up thinking about things like this, during the beginning of spring/summer, when i find myself with all this time on my hands since school is out and i have to decide all the things i want to do during my wonderful break. ^-^


to me, carpe diem has always meant trying new things, seizing opportunities instead of letting them pass you by, and just stepping out of your comfort zone now and then. releasing your inhibitions. saying what you have to say, and doing what you want to do.

it doesn’t always have to be big, or scary. it just has to be something that you want to do. dreams don’t have to be big to be real. and it’s okay if your dreams don’t all come true. as long as you spend each day working toward something. anything. instead of living each day the same day as the one before that, and just letting time pass you by.

carpe diem is about realizing how precious each moment is. but just because each moment is precious, doesn’t mean that each of them have to be extraordinary.

they can be spent just hanging out with your family, or just taking some time by yourself to relax. that’s important too. 
just as long as you don’t lose sight of the fact that each day is a gift.

spend your life the way you want to, not the way others tell you. 
don’t be afraid of not conforming to the norm, but don’t be afraid to want the same things as others either. 
it’s okay to want a simple life. 
as much as it is to want an extraordinary one. 
just as long as its what you want it to be. 
and as long as it makes you feel like the time you spent here was worthwhile. if you can go to sleep each night feeling like there was at least something about the day worth remembering, that’s a day well spent.

personally, i believe that at the end of it all, if i can look back and think “wow, i’ve made some amazing memories here” i’d call that a success.

 

dear dreams –

dear dreams,

i remember you being slightly bigger, way back when.
much, much bigger. like, the size of a flying building times an airplane, or the power to control the weather, and be a famous singer and dancer and an awesome kindergarten teacher, all at the same time. or something.

looking back, it seems as though, all the time that i spent growing, you spent shrinking. and your decreasing pattern was probably not linear.

the first things that i think changed you, were the things that i watched and read over and over, and then you became love songs and poems and stories, and i became a character in a novel.

you were still pretty big back then. just, a different colour, maybe. i can’t really be sure. my memory is not too good, but. i’m sure you were still pretty big. maybe.

so. then. how did you become so small?

ah. of course. the inevitable. well, maybe not “inevitable” since some do seem to be able to get away without being too affected by It, but most don’t, and i’m one of the most, aren’t i? i guess i am.

you just kept shrinking and shrinking until you went from the size of magic and fame to the size of dandelions-are-pretty, and thank-you-cards-to-strangers, and post-it-notes-at-bus-stops, and letters to no one.

but, hey,
It has only showed me the cliff,
but i haven’t fallen off the edge, have i?

even though i’m a ‘most’,
i’m still fighting, aren’t i?
fighting using letters and sounds and drawings and smiles,
instead of buildings, and fame, and nobel peace prizes.

but, still.
i am fighting, and  – though
your vision has changed,
and your path has changed –
your (realtrueultimate) goal hasn’t, has it?

i don’t know.
i think it hasn’t.

and, i guess Changes are okay.
i wonder why most ‘most’s seem so afraid of them.

i don’t mind your new look so much.

just, do one thing for me.

because i don’t want It to consume me, and
i want to keep running after you. so, just,

always be something worth chasing.

and if, sometimes, i fall behind,
please be fair and give me some time to catch up.

thanks.

yours, always,
– me.

p.s. Reality is worth a visit, but i like living in you much much better. honest.


 

just one of my earlier pieces. :B a letter to my dreams. it was part of this 30 day 30 letter challenge thing (which i never finished, heh~).

i’m back!

sorry for the hiatus. 😛

got a little pre-occupied with school and family and vacation-ing and obsessing over new celebrity crush. >.>;;

 

anywayyy.

i’ve been continuing to work on my novels though. :3 and will probably be posting some new excerpts in the coming week.

i also came up with a bunch of more new things that i want to try! (like learn three different languages!)

***

i have this tendency… where i get bored of things relatively easily. >.<;; i mean, once in a while, i’ll come up with a big goal/dream of some kind, but i don’t have the dedication to stick it through, especially not for years and years. i think maybe two months or so (?) is my limit in working toward one thing, and placing it as high priority.

either way!

i really do want to finish at least one of the novels i’ve planned, and i think i’m motivated enough about this to actually see it through, so. 🙂 please, cheer me on~ 😛 i’ll do my best. ^^

***

on another note. i have this new-found appreciation and awe for flying. (as in, on airplanes. not, like, magical flying. which is awesome too! but, you know, i’ve always had a thing for that. [hence, it wouldn’t be new-found…:B])

 

until later!

– rain~ :3

I’m not much for goal-setting…

I mean, of course we all need some goals, but the idea of mapping your whole life out in major goals, and sub-goals needed to reach those goals, is just too rigid and closed-minded an idea for me.
 
“With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.” 
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
 
Life is for exploring, I think. And by boxing yourself into a pre-planned path, and not even just the path, but also all the directions you’re going to take while you’re on that path, is just too… limiting. (And also leads to feeling like anything that doesn’t fit into the plan as being something “wrong” or disappointing… sometimes, life has its own plans, you know? And I think it’s better to accept them, rather than fight them. 🙂 Sometimes, it’s even better than what we originally had planned.)
 
The Best Goal is No Goal – by Leo Babauta
 
 
So, while I do have some goals, such as preferred career choices, and some projects I want to finish (e.g. my novel(s)), the majoriy of the time I believe in living life by the day, by the moment, and trying my best to be present in the now, as opposed to planning for the future. I more or less believe that the future has a way of working itself out, and most of us think about it way more than we have to, or should.
 

“I paid attention to what was going on around me, which is what you need to do. Then you’ll start seeing the things you’re missing.”

           – Lacey Weatherford, Crush
 
And sometimes, we all need to take a few moments to relax. Take a walk. Meditate. You know.
 
You have to open your mind to going places you never expected to go. If you live without goals, you’ll explore new territory. You’ll learn some unexpected things. You’ll end up in surprising places. 
 
Anyway, on the topic of new things, and life’s little adventures, I’m working on this blog dedicated to finding new things to try within everyday life. Hopefully to maybe show people how even the littlest things can add so much more fun to our life! If we just stop to notice them.
 
There are plenty of little ways to expose ourselves to more spontaneity and randomness in our daily life, and just to take the time to explore. Because I believe the rule we were taught from my video game development class about the construction of video games —
 
“It’s about experiences: Learning new skills, exploring, challenges and competition. The longer those last, the deeper the experience.”
– Sean Murray, Hello Games (Joe Danger) 
 
— is true to our real life as well. And maybe you like the way things are right now, and you don’t want to quit your job, or go climb a mountain, or travel the world. But the point is, you don’t have to take such drastic measures, to seize each and every day. (At least, don’t think so.)
 
There are so many things to do, and little ways we can have more fun and stop ourselves from getting into a rut. I think the important thing is, just to keep your mind and heart open to the little things that make life special