me in so many pieces i think

i think i am me in pieces not me as whole who is
who is that even which is me which piece is
what i really want do i really want any of
i feel like i am pieced together for many people in
so many pieces so here is my piece for you
you had my biggest piece because you were born to
fit me and the beginnings of your life were fit to
fit the beginnings of mine and you have my biggest piece because i
chose you to fit me and you chose me to fit you for
the rest of it for the most of the rest of other life beginnings
but oh, dear, where do the pieces tear where did one
beginning end and another begin, dear you are so
dear to me everyone is every one every piece of me
and so i want to stay here while also i want to stay with
you and i want to follow you wherever you go and also
i want to follow me but where am i where am i even.
we bought puzzle glue the other day and just now i
thought it would be nice if i could hold me all together and
you or some me could glue it all up so i could look at it in one
piece but i don’t think these pieces would even fit together
so how could we glue them up without making a huge mess
and leaking leaking into the cracks and bends between all of us
all of me
Advertisements

the other side

it’s human nature, isn’t it, to focus on what we lack, rather than what we have?

that’s where the grass being green on the other side idea kind of comes from.

or those thoughts that start with “if only…”

if only i was there instead of here, things would be better.

if only i had this instead of that, i could be better.

why else would someone who has just published their first book, earned a growing fanbase, a steady career

feel like they haven’t accomplished enough in life?

why else would someone who has a caring family, several close friends, a loving relationship

feel like they’re alone and unwanted?

we call it a weakness, this tendency to focus on what is missing, rather than what is there.

“humanity’s fatal flaw” she called it.

but maybe it isn’t always so bad. maybe it’s not always a weakness. maybe it’s often our greatest strength.

because why do we focus on what we don’t have? to keep us moving forward, to keep us striving for that elusive place where things are better, we are better. we are scared of feeling completely at peace because maybe that would mean we are done. the story is done once we reach ‘happily ever after’.

and no one wants to be done.

so we keep looking for holes to fill – not just us as individuals, but us as the human race – so we can keep having something to do, something to head toward, or at least something to complain about, something to cry about, something to do something about other than close the book and say ‘the end. we have achieved a state of imperfect perfection. we are now done.’

infinity.

please don’t leave me. i’m so scared.

silly child. i’ll still be here. we’re all always going to be here.

what do you mean?

answer me this. what do you think we’re made of?

…i don’t know… skin and bones?

haha. that’s just our temporary container. something to hold what we all really are.

and what is that?

energy.

energy?

that’s what we are all made of. energy. and do you know something about energy?

i know nothing about anything.

energy can never be destroyed.

then… where do we go when we’re… gone?

well. energy never disappears. it only transforms.

transforms?

yes. changes form. sometimes, we’re skin and bones. sometimes, we’re balls of air. sometimes, we’re a spring breeze. but we’re still together. all of us. in this one, giant universe. that’s constantly transforming.

but… how can i see you again? how can i talk to you again?

you don’t have to worry about little things like that. the world is so much bigger than all of these little things. what matters is that we are not gone. we are never gone. we’ve simply changed. but we’re all, always together. every little thing that you see. we’re all part of one big, everlasting, ever-transforming, infinity.

including you?

including me. including you. us. we are infinity.

dear dandelion, you are

and i think one of the most beautiful things just might be
spring breezes in the summer
warm breezes in the winter
serendipitous surprises just because
just because you are who you are
and, love, this is all you ever needed to hear
orange lullabies and bedtime stories we still hold dear
and the sparrow chirps back when its babies call
the flowers dance even as the nights they fall 
because someone out there just maybe, really knows
how this story was meant to go, yet
that doesn’t stop us from hoping, holding, making wishes
turning just any other dandelion from weed to wings as
the spring breeze blows even as far north as we are.
and ice-cream and stickers that glow in the dark
and animal hats and cake and wandering stars 
still do sing, truly. so he takes her hand, truly.
and i think this just might be one of the most beautiful things
this life this love this everything in the everyday this
just because you are. you are.

new book: through love, lies, and other things that exist

Screen Shot 2015-08-11 at 10.19.09 PM

A Collection of Poems and Words

AVAILABLE HERE
E-book: https://payhip.com/b/vUaP
Softcover/Hardcover: http://www.blurb.ca/user/store/rainsharmin

i wanted to write lyrics with these flowers
and thorns and stars you’ve tattooed across my arms and my chest; but maybe these thoughts and feelings are too scattered for song. so maybe i’ll write these uncaged words instead.

i ran into something unbelievable last winter.
it came into our lives in the fall. and it grew and grew. and by winter, it was so huge, that the whole world had to morph and widen and brighten to fit it. this morphing, and widening, and brightening was a journey filled with light and dark, learning and growth, hope and doubt, dreams and rude awakenings, shock and wonder.
these poems and lyrics and words are a documentation of that journey.
a journey through love, lies, and other things that exist.

labels. (excerpt from “the art of breaking”)

labels.
as soon as we grow up, we get labelled.
stamped, dated, labelled.
birthdate. time. place. weight. height. worth.
name.
an arbitrary name we have no choice in, yet it becomes
something so intricately woven into everything we do
for (usually) pretty much the rest of our lives

as we grow, we accumulate more and more labels
likes. dislikes.
school. program. skills. talents.
derogatory terms. categorizing terms.
brands we wear, bands we love.

our personalities end up being boxed into these few labels
some others stamp on us. and some we stamp onto ourselves.

and that’s what we become.

enclosed and contained within our own selves,
taped and packed and labelled.

just a bit of summertime magic.

dear reader,

you know what looks really magical to me?

something that looks as though it is straight out of a fairytale?

these little white fuzzy things that look like dandelion fluff flying around in the air! when they’re all gathered, and just blissfully floating in the breeze. it looks so dreamlike ❤ i feel like they are tiny fairies, or lost wishes, or pieces of old memories, or other precious things you could capture and keep in jars (but that are much more beautiful when set free~) i feel like i should chase them or something. and they’ll lead me to a place. a place where wishes come true* haha.

googling them up led me to these:
http://www.fitsugar.com/All-Fluff-Your-Seasonal-Allergies-303967
http://www.mnn.com/local-reports/illinois/local-blog/airborne-fluff-the-cottonwood-tree
http://www.abundantnature.com/2012/06/fuzzy-white-flying-bugs.html

whatever they may be, aren’t they just magical? ❤

the image of them all floating in the air brings up pretty, magical pictures like these in my head, so:

ImageImageImage
Image       Image       Image

okay, that’s all for now. :3

love,

– rain.

*oh, just a Clannad reference 😛

 

OH. sources for the images:
http://lilium.tumblr.com/
http://usernameisbeingused.tumblr.com/
http://hellyeskingdomhearts.tumblr.com/