i remember you being slightly bigger, way back when.
much, much bigger. like, the size of a flying building times an airplane, or the power to control the weather, and be a famous singer and dancer and an awesome kindergarten teacher, all at the same time. or something.
looking back, it seems as though, all the time that i spent growing, you spent shrinking. and your decreasing pattern was probably not linear.
the first things that i think changed you, were the things that i watched and read over and over, and then you became love songs and poems and stories, and i became a character in a novel.
you were still pretty big back then. just, a different colour, maybe. i can’t really be sure. my memory is not too good, but. i’m sure you were still pretty big. maybe.
so. then. how did you become so small?
ah. of course. the inevitable. well, maybe not “inevitable” since some do seem to be able to get away without being too affected by It, but most don’t, and i’m one of the most, aren’t i? i guess i am.
you just kept shrinking and shrinking until you went from the size of magic and fame to the size of dandelions-are-pretty, and thank-you-cards-to-strangers, and post-it-notes-at-bus-stops, and letters to no one.
It has only showed me the cliff,
but i haven’t fallen off the edge, have i?
even though i’m a ‘most’,
i’m still fighting, aren’t i?
fighting using letters and sounds and drawings and smiles,
instead of buildings, and fame, and nobel peace prizes.
i am fighting, and – though
your vision has changed,
and your path has changed –
your (realtrueultimate) goal hasn’t, has it?
i don’t know.
i think it hasn’t.
and, i guess Changes are okay.
i wonder why most ‘most’s seem so afraid of them.
i don’t mind your new look so much.
just, do one thing for me.
because i don’t want It to consume me, and
i want to keep running after you. so, just,
always be something worth chasing.
and if, sometimes, i fall behind,
please be fair and give me some time to catch up.
p.s. Reality is worth a visit, but i like living in you much much better. honest.
just one of my earlier pieces. :B a letter to my dreams. it was part of this 30 day 30 letter challenge thing (which i never finished, heh~).