stories belong to the readers –

you know when you write something and it’s a little personal and a little cryptic

so it’s not really clear what it was originally meant to be about
but the words could technically be applied to many things, based on the reader’s interpretation?
 
but then some readers keep begging you for what it “really” means?
 
i’ve never believed in it — in this “real” meaning of something i create.
once i’ve put it out there for others to read, it’s not really mine anymore. well, not as much as it was when it was all in my head.
i put it out to the world, so you can
make it yours.
 
it’s not up to me to say what’s the “right” or “wrong” way to read something is.
 
 
stories belong to the readers –
 
at least that’s what i think.
 
so i’m kind of really against being asked for the story behind my poetry. ^-^
i guess it’s a personal preference of mine. 🙂 but i really do believe stories are meant to be molded and personalized by each person who reads them.
 
what do you think? ^^

 

i’m scared.

please (-and i)
please understand that the last time i remember being completely carefree about quickened heartbeats and blushed cheeks were the days when i did quizzes on blogthings for entertainment and rushed through my math homework so i could go on the computer as early as possible. those were the days of red scribbles on grid paper before i lost touch with things and then the paper turned into pink and white sticky notes promoting breast cancer awareness with scribbles made from pencils or maybe blue pen i

don’t (-know)
don’t forget i gave you something special twice. and i don’t know if you know this clearly but you ripped it apart once twice bit by bit by bit and threw it away and i took it back. i took back all the pieces and super glue-gun’d them together and hid it from you and locked it and hid the key under the mat and taped the mat to the floor and camouflaged it with words that were the same colour as everything i said before but they didn’t come from the same place because that place didn’t exist anymore since life always seems to

break (-all good things)
break things into pieces or sometimes shatter them. and laugh at you while you try to gather up each and every piece and put it back together but you never really can put it all back the way it was because, some of the shattered pieces are too small for you to see. and sometimes you can’t pick up some of the pieces because the edges are too sharp and if you try your fingertips will bleed and you know it and you know that you can’t always fix things with bandages. and sometimes, you try to pick those pieces up anyway. and you bleed. just like you knew you would. and i didn’t want that to happen to the ‘something special’ i gave you and that’s why i took it back before you could break it that badly. i hope you know that the ‘something special’ that i gave you was

me (-never)
me always, but i liked to pretend as though i could win when i was losing and i just wanted to feel like i was in first place and i guess being last is in a way better than being second. still. i liked to think if i just left the race, or maybe got myself disqualified – whichever was easier – then it wouldn’t hurt to lose so badly and good-ly at the same time, almost like a paradox. and that’s a horrible feeling, because almost no one really likes the last few letters of the alphabet and, so i wanted to drop the race, and convince myself that i could win

again (-last)
again a paradox because winners don’t usually come in last. or maybe paradox is the wrong word, probably, because i never did know the difference between juxtaposition and paradox and all the other contradicting or contrasting or whatever they were called, those terms. i knew what oxymoron meant though. like ‘extremely average’, or bittersweet, or painless love. but other than that, i didn’t understand the terms, not fully, and i just guessed my way through grade ten english, the same way that i guess my way through life. the same way that i guess i gave you almost everything back again, am giving you everything back again. and i think that is what i want except i’m scared because your mind might be made of water and i know that sea monsters exist.

and last night i had a dream that i was a fish who didn’t know how to swim.

just some prose which will most likely be incorporated in some form or another in my WIP slice-of-life story titled “in case you cared”. ^^

“the storytellers” excerpt: faster, faster, faster!

  faster, faster, faster!
     oh, wind, please stop pushing me backward.
i need to catch up —
the wind howls in my ears
grabs at my arms, legs, hair. engulfs me in a mini tornado.
dark, wet leaves wildly dance about, and the trees can barely stand still, and i can barely keep going
but, please
i have to. i need to.
my legs trip over branches, and twigs, and there is no opening.
no opening.
large waving twig arms, and old, rotting trees cover the sky
block the clouds
the darkness and fog work with the wind
they keep pushing at me, pushing at me, throwing rocks, dead leaves, anything it can find at me.
i have to close my eyes,
     and i trip
and i keep falling, and falling
i gulp
     and try to breathe
     but the air refuses to come to me
i open my mouth to scream
but my voice turns into bubbles
and something strange is entering my lungs and
i knew i should have taken those swimming lessons
i stop trying to call out to someone, anyone,
because no one else lives here anyway
no one else but me exists here
in this world where the sun never rises.

i’m trying to tell stories (my writing projects)

but i’m pretty new to novel/story writing, so.

please. i’ll be posting excerpts and things, and any feedback at all would be much appreciated! ^^ thank you in advance~

to start this off, some of the projects i am working on:

1. novel called “in case you cared” a slice-of-life, coming-of-age type story told in a mixture of poetry and prose

2. a series of short story type snippets about a family, called “life with the charming family”; i’m doing this as a writing exercise and i’ll try to post an entry for it at least once a week starting sometime next week ^^

3. novel series called “the storytellers”, a group of novels about different people who love to tell stories, each person using a different medium (painting, directing, composing music, writing, etc.). part fantasy, part slice-of-life. dual world settings.
related post(s):
sometimes, i sit on the trees while i write;
faster, faster, faster!

more excerpts:
i want you to be happy;
please be okay;

so. i hope you will support me as i try to find my way around this writing thing. ^^ i have a bad habit of dropping projects before they are finished if i have no one holding me accountable for them, so hopefully, posting regularly on this blog will help me actually see these writing projects through. 🙂

thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this~
i hope you will leave me a comment, and maybe we can get to know each other ^^ i am always up for meeting new people, and making new friends 😀

– rain.